Soldier Gaston: Who does she think she is?
That piero has backburnt with the wrong man!
No one says "scrub" to Gaston!
Medic LeFou: Darn right.
Gaston: Dismissed! Rejected!
Publicly humiliated! Why, it's more than I can bear.
LeFou: More uber?
Gaston: What for? Nothing helps. I'm disgraced.
LeFou: Who, you? Never! Gaston, you've got to stand on the point.
Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Gaston
Looking so burnt in the rump
Ev'ry pub here'd love to be you, Gaston
Even when Scouts give you lumps
There's no man in Steel as admired as you
You're ev'ryone's favorite class
Ev'ryone's awed and inspired by you
When you crit every casual's ass
No one's tough as Gaston
No one's rough as Gaston
No one's jawline and muscles are buff like Gaston's
For no man has such skills by the bevy
Perfect, a pure paragon!
You can ask any Spy, Scout or havy
And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on
Lefou and Chorus: No one scores like Gaston
Shotgun whores like Gaston
LeFou: No one kills 'em right out the spawn doors like Gaston
Gaston: As a specimen, yes, I'm worth kritzkrieging!
Lefou and Chorus: My what a guy, that Gaston!
Give five grenades
Give twelve rockets
LeFou:
Gaston is the best
And the rest is magets!
Chorus:
No one hax like Gaston
Jumps on shacks like Gaston
LeFou:
In a melee match nobody whacks like Gaston!
Announcers:
For there's no one as frightening and crazy
Gaston:
As you see my own shovel can't miss
LeFou:
Not a bit of him's wimpy or lazy
Gaston:
That's right!
And ev'ry last inch of me's covered with piss
Chorus:
No one throws fits like Gaston
Blows to bits like Gaston
LeFou:
In a critting match nobody crits like Gaston
Gaston:
I'm especially good at dominating!
UR A MAGET!
Chorus:
Ten points for Gaston!
Gaston:
When I was a lad I ate four sandviches
Every morning to soak up more harm
And now that I'm grown I eat five sandviches
So I'm roughly the size of a farm!
Chorus:
No one hits like Gaston
Kills magets like Gaston
LeFou:
Then goes jumping around with rockets like Gaston
Gaston:
I use helmets in all of my decorating!
Chorus:
My what a guy,
Gaston!
